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I LOVE "negative" conversations

 

Linda Hoyt

Certified Love & Authenticity Practitioner

I've always enjoyed being "that" person people feel they can just “open up” to.  I've met so many amazing people in my life and would often find myself in a corner, having a deep conversation about life or some world issue, and at times it felt amazing!! But there were also some painful stories I would hear along the way…

When I was younger I didn't ALWAYS like these conversations...I just didn't want to think about something so…negative! Yuck! I LOVED life most of the time and hearing some of these stories just made my heart sink.

I thought about becoming a psychologist, but I was convinced I wouldn’t be able to leave my work at work and it would bring too much sorrow into my life because I couldn’t help but give ALL MY HEART to these people when they would tell me their stories.

But something in me SHIFTED… As the world seemed to dive headfirst into a perpetual state of darkness, some light was shed on the darkness inside of ME. Negative events started taking place in my life that triggered negative emotions inside of me and I had nowhere to turn. There was no path. No direction to take. So, I GAVE UP and asked God for guidance.

That’s when I found my answer...and my mentor.

I started to look inward, on what I could control, because everything I tried and every plan I made FAILED. I realized I had no control over my life…or so I thought. And that’s when I found a mentor who changed my life forever..

I not only learned to control my emotions, I learned to CHANGE them. I learned tools and techniques to not only allow me to live a happy life, but live the LIFE I’ve always dreamed of!! I manifested a new career that I was EXCITED about and a LOVE that I never knew existed... So, I wanted to “pay it forward” and help others in the same way my mentor helped me…

And now you’re HERE! Yay!

Now, I LOVE “negative” conversations!

For me, they’re clues into how I can help change someone’s life. The best part is you DON’T have to re-live the painful past that “broke” you.

(FYI: You are NOT broken!)

And, you DON’T have to wait until you hit “rock-bottom” before you can change your life. You can do it NOW, no matter where you are in life!

You just have to make the choice to do something about it.

 
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"I wish others could see personal growth less like going to the dentist and more like waiting in line for a rollercoaster"

 

My Hope for the Future

I wish others could see personal growth less like going to the dentist and more like waiting in line for a rollercoaster. Many people don’t like going to the dentist, especially when they’re in pain. They know they should, and they know that doing so will make them feel better, but all they can think about is the pain they’re going to experience. Just like going to the dentist, they put it off for as long as possible, until the pain becomes so unbearable that the option of going to the dentist is less painful than the option of continuing to live with the pain.


However, I like to view personal growth like waiting in line for a rollercoaster. I haven’t met a person yet who actually enjoys waiting in line, but it’s worth it for the person who knows a thrilling experience is waiting for them once they get through it. During the wait, the anticipation begins to build.  It’s a little scary but they know they’re about to experience something new and that the experience is going to bring joy and a sense of adventure into their life. Before they get on the ride, fear is at it’s peak. There’s no turning back. They’ve already passed the point of no return. They step on the ride and the coaster takes off! Here comes the drop..they knew this was coming and butterflies invade their being. Then an turn comes up they weren’t expecting. Another big drop! Then suddenly the ride stops and it’s time to get off. They think “that actually wasn’t as bad as I thought…let’s get on another one!”

Instead of viewing growth as a painful experience and waiting until life becomes so miserable that seeking help becomes the only option, view growth as an adventure towards experiencing something new that is going to make your life more enjoyable. Ironically, I actually like going to the dentist! I’m serious. Growing up my mother’s best friend was a dental assistant at the office I went to and there was always a treasure chest full of toys to choose from when the procedure was done. Also, for they majority of my adult life I never had health insurance, so going to the dentist was a luxury. Even if I was in pain, and before I began to repair my relationship with money, I didn’t go because I couldn’t afford it. When I finally got a “real job” after college and was able to get insurance, the dentist was one of the first appointments I made. I don’t like to live with pain. If I know there’s a way to relieve myself of any sort of pain, I’m taking action in that direction.


As a child, I also never really liked rollercoasters (I know. Why would I used these examples as an analogy?). I didn’t like the feeling of fear or feeling “butterflies” in my stomach so I avoided all rides that would bring them on wherever possible. However, as I got older, I started to expand my boundaries and push my limits. I believe as humans this is our natural tendency…to grow. That’s why I also believe those who resist change are in so much pain because it’s unnatural to remain the same.


Growth is simply a part of life and we get to choose how to experience it. Do you want to avoid it until the pain becomes so unbearable, seeking help becomes your only choice? Or, do you want to make the choice now to embrace it and see it as an adventure? For me, I choose the latter. And I can tell you from experience that growth really is like riding a rollercoaster when you make the choice to embrace it. You get to choose the height of your peaks and the depth of your valley’s. Yes, there will always be unexpected turns but if in the end your life is filled with more joy because of them isn’t that worth it?

 
 

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